Dear People Who "Reply All" to Emails,

Thank you so much for sharing your response with every single recipient of an email. It's so great to have my blackberry buzz all day long and see messages from people I have never heard of with details about their weekend plans. I mean, how exciting! I have never met you but I know that you can't make the birthday party because you have to go to Portland to visit your uncle who broke his leg. My life would be incomplete without knowing such interesting things. If I'm really lucky I get to witness an entire dialogue between several of you. The back and forth updates just make my day-or several days if the moon and stars are really aligned. This week, someone has been looking out for me because I've had THREE separate emails with so many people replying to all. Thanks God. You really know how to make me happy.

Dear Ice Cream Man on My Block,

NOBODY wants ice cream on North Genesee Avenue so stop ringing that fing bell up and down my street on the weekends! What about investing in an actual ice cream truck? I don't trust anyone selling ice cream from a cart ringing a bell.