Dear Yogurtland,

Dear Yogurtland, I want you bad. I promised Skinny Jeans it was over between us, but I need to have you. I remember how delicious you tasted on my lips. Our times together were so right but yet so wrong. I want to come over, but what will those high school kids that hang out in front think if I show up there all by myself at 10pm on a Saturday? Will I have to limit the amount of yogurt I get to save some dignity? Maybe I should change out of my pajamas so that I don't look like a total slob? Is there any way I can downplay the fact that getting yogurt is the highlight of my evening? I already "splurged" on a club sandwich today. I mean, do I really need yogurt? Maybe if I could just have a little, I would get over you and not think about you all the time. Who am I kidding? Every time I show up at your door, I feel like a junkie begging for a hit. I see the other junkies there too. Some have no shame and they sit or stand right outside devouring their 44 oz of crack. Others walk hurriedly to their cars, nonchalantly sneaking bites, acting as if they are not dying to get home and indulge. As I turn the corner to walk in, my heart stops. Do I really want to do this??? But I walk through the door anyway, heart racing, feet dragging...I think to myself that there is still time. I can turn around and walk away. Just because I am here does not mean I have to go through with it. I am strong enough. I can do this. Leave NOW! I ignore the voice and ask for a sample cup. Even though I have been here a million times and tried every flavor more than once, I ask for a sample cup. After a few tastes, I grab a serving cup and head to the Peanut Butter nozzle, then Heath Bar, Blueberry and Pistachio...the next thing I know I am at the toppings counter, adding so many sprinkles that the store clerk is cleaning up my mess. I put my cup on the scale and don't even care that my total comes out to $5 while the girl next to me pays $1.49, because of course, this will be the "last time" I give in to your temptation. Then, I'm telling you Yogurtland, I won't be back.