Dear "Actor in True Blood,"

You are not actually considered an "actor" on the show if you played the "cop who the girl pointed to in the bar scene," and also a "voiceover in episode 11." Yeah, not so much. Girls don't find it cool when you try to make your struggling acting career to be moreso by lying about it. Also, working as a "bartender on the side" at the Staples center, does not help your case. You may want to leave that entire part out. If you are going to lie about anything, it should definitely be the fact that you are a bartender at the Staples center.